Zorg

Pick your path to Wiki Adventure!

From Infictive

Contents

I. Broke Down on the Road to Infictive

In the summit of a unbearably hot summer things just keep getting fucked up. On your way home from work yesterday your car sputtered and ran out of gas. You coasted off the road and your car joined the ever growing line of abandoned vehicles. People could no longer afford the fifteen dollar a gallon prices. It seems the choices are slim now. You can no longer afford to drive and eat. Hell , even if you didn't eat you still couldn't afford to drive. So...

  1. If you walk to work
  2. If you attempt to join Oil for the Loyal
  3. If you hitch-hike
  4. If you call in sick instead
  5. If you seek shelter from the heat in a nearby store
  6. If you call the cops for help
  7. If you take up a life of stealing and hustling to pay for your gas
  8. If you just wait in your car for the gas fairy to show up
  9. If you go to the first house you see and just take the place over for yourself
  10. If you pray to Jesus to save this sad sad world
  11. If you kick and otherwise damage your car in a rage
  12. If you stand beside the road with a will work for gas sign
  13. If you Rage against the machine
  14. If you attempt to join the band Black Circle
  15. If you sit like Buddha in the center of the road
  16. If you head over to the library to start a website called My penis.com
  17. If you attempt to invent a different fuel supply
  18. If you walk to the west side of the forest
  19. If you get that tuna fish and cult spread sandwich out of your cooler and eat it
  20. If you hang out in your starved car and play Kyle Deerbone CD's until your battery dies
  21. If you desire a glimpse of a blue light special future
  22. If you attempt in invoke the meth Demon
  23. If you befriend the dollar bills
  24. If you attempt to create a new flavour of Bottles of Food
  25. If you join The Leaf of the Mason, a branch of the SOSM
  26. If you begin doing research on the Great Alarm
  27. If you get involved with the Uglavarian activist movement Bulbs Not Bombs
  28. If the nesting and mating instinct takes over
  29. If you go to the library and sign on as a member of frequency 23
  30. If you give up all your material possessions to study Dildo Mask battle meta-martial arts


II. Later Days in Infictive

  1. A government agent e-mails your site
  2. If you are placed on a pirate ship
  3. If you transported to ancient rome
  4. You win a Strayhound bus ride to Bubbling Vomit Land
  5. If you get a job at the airport and clean up your drug use
  6. When you realize you can't smoke weed in Uglavaria you decide to retire to Lake Crump.
  7. A hick up in the reality mainframe makes you a Mollkin
  8. If you go to the local arcade and bet the rest of your life savings
  9. Move to Santa Magic Village to start a band
  10. You go into hiding in Ketjack
  11. You are hired on a rich persons yaught trip as a gopher
  12. If you are thrown into a massive zombie outbreak
  13. If you use your free billiard skills that your dad paid for
  14. Wik your Path to adventure
  15. You are the Soda Man
  16. If you are a Questing Knight
  17. A long prison term for you
  18. Theres no place like...home
  19. You become a martial arts knight, a member of The Cougar's Paw
  20. You tremble in a bloody hell
  21. If you construct your own boat to get in Uglavaria in
  22. Are they...Dead?
  23. You try out stand up comedy
  24. If you are now Andrew McFing
  25. Its lunch time in your new reality
  26. You become a painter
  27. If you start disguising yourself as a mall security person
  28. [[Then things get better]]
  29. If you get with the local Italian mafia
  30. If you go to the downstairs "Forbidden Books" section

III. The Short and Special Paths

  1. You get into movies
  2. You work in a manufacturing factory outside a colonial city 5 hours a day
  3. New reincarnation
  4. If you drive over to the nearby church
  5. If the gas fairy sends you into a porno world
  6. If you get with your buddy and start out selling just enough weed
  7. You start a group called the Sisterhood of Man
  8. Form a hate group for the love of Jesus
  9. If you do experiments on animals for kicks
  10. If you are biten by a werewolf
  11. You shoot a movie
  12. There is a zombie outbreak in our city
  13. You are in the band Red Mullet Traid
  14. You are Fexton Huffle
  15. If you are on the shores of the newest American state, Washington A C.
  16. You and Pickman quit Miskatonic university and go back to Santa Magic Village to join they're government funded Orchestra
  17. Maggie ends up in a womens prison
  18. More of that Preformance art O K?
  19. If you go to the Viking Faire restaurant
  20. From here the world becomes just sounds to you
  21. You are a wandering drifter
  22. You flux in reality traps you in Mystery X's dreamscape
  23. If you end up in a ecological disaster
  24. You now are a insane killer
  25. Here's your new world
  26. Its lunch time in your new reality
  27. If you end up on a dinosaur planet
  28. If you are on the shores of the newest American state, Washington A C.
  29. So you never really make it to Wonderland
  30. An American Civil war

IV. The Über Short and Obscure Paths

  1. You become a police man
  2. You become a writer
  3. Prison Break
  4. You are only avant garde composer in Washington A C
  5. You find out about the A C Mafia
  6. Lots of U F O sightings lately
  7. Dead hands pound the door
  8. You come back as Pony Rose
  9. Take all your drugs and cross on over
  10. If you become,a actor
  11. If you jab the bouncer in the throat
  12. So you never really make it to Wonderland
  13. Pick a fight with an audience member, kill the person, and show everyone who's the boss
  14. But then to make matters worse you reincarnate into a same time span life in bubbling Vomit Land
  15. If you are in a alternative world's version of WW2
  16. You give the ticket away at work
  17. You change your name and start working on a broadway musical
  18. You become a boxer
  19. You form a heavy avant garde group
  20. If you are now a sword wielding barbarian from a fantasy world
  21. If you continue stealing
  22. You get a job at the cryogenics lab
  23. You are one of those Catholic boys
  24. You are a driver in a Destruction Derby!
  25. You are told not to ask for any more gigs
  26. You start shooting movies for the drive in crowd
  27. If you keep on talking to the penguin
  28. You join the Harney County Orchestra
  29. You try to hitchike home
  30. Move to Harney County to be a musical number there

V. The Musical Paths

  1. You end up playing guitar in the punk band VomitBot
  2. Start up a new band then vowing to be cooler and vaster then the circle
  3. You are only avant garde composer in Washington A C
  4. You have a band
  5. You come back as Pony Rose
  6. You and Pickman quit Miskatonic university and go back to Santa Magic Village to join they're government funded Orchestra
  7. Take all your drugs and cross on over
  8. You buy a sax and start your own mutant jazz band
  9. If you are transformed into a rock star of a alternative world
  10. If you get into music
  11. You go back home to form a band named The Sirens of Salt
  12. If you attempt to join the band Black Circle
  13. If you are on the shores of the newest American state, Washington A C.
  14. You try to join the Engine Revvers
  15. You meet this guy who could be your twin, and he plays keyboards!
  16. So you never really make it to Wonderland
  17. But then to make matters worse you reincarnate into a same time span life in bubbling Vomit Land
  18. For you are Reino Nikola, yes the Reino Nikola
  19. If you and Mcfing start a band
  20. If you attack the police in a suicidal fury
  21. If you give up on your research out of fear and move to infictive country to join a band
  22. But your band breaks up
  23. You join the Mackabee 6, a McFing6 cover band
  24. You meet some travaling Musicians and you join their band
  25. You are in the band Ignatz Wanders
  26. You depart rapidly to start a stage show in a far off county
  27. You form a band out of Verigone rejects
  28. You are a musician
  29. You form a band to pass time
  30. So you never really make it to Wonderland

VI. Son of the Über Obscure Paths

  1. You get a job as a lab assistant
  2. First you encounter a MaMooska
  3. You join the underground band FUCK
  4. If you wish to become a Master of Bowlbetterology
  5. If you are now a character in a H. P. Lovecraft book
  6. If you end up in the land of the Lost!
  7. Join the prison satan rock band Shaven Hoof
  8. If you inheret money from your rich uncle
  9. If you are transformed into a rock star of a alternative world
  10. You spend every penny you made financing a mutant jazz outfit
  11. If you start up an internet book store
  12. Theres a zombie outbreak in Infictive County
  13. You go to the old cabin your uncle owned
  14. If you are sent to the far future
  15. If you watch the TV between naps
  16. If it's a alternatie reality version of REM Faire
  17. The Reino Nikola Orchestra is formed
  18. If you now gain mutant super powers in a comic bookish alternative reality
  19. Big Brother is Watching You
  20. If you become the Super Hero MegaYou
  21. If you end up being the boss of a casino
  22. You go on a space mission
  23. If you encounter Bigfoot
  24. Go to training to learn two words: Mui-Thai
  25. You depart rapidly to start a stage show in a far off county
  26. A insane killer stalks Alfredo Valley
  27. Its a Holiday on the other side
  28. You go on as a gonzo journalist
  29. You head out to the mexican badlands searching for treasure
  30. You go to Uglavaria

VII. The other last chart ever of paths

  1. Endless Rooms
  2. Next life one
  3. The End
  4. Infictive County in Prehistoric times
  5. Next life two
  6. He End
  7. You get selected to be on a Maximum reality show
  8. Nd
  9. You take a hit of Mad 3
  10. If you study to be a doctor with the OFTL money
  11. He E
  12. E End
  13. End
  14. Your Hollerin' Jack Johnson
  15. The
  16. He En
  17. Next life three
  18. If you are transported to the old west
  19. Th
  20. E En
  21. The En
  22. E E
  23. The E
  24. You are a quack, a total kook
  25. You enlist in the anti squirrel termination team
  26. HE EnD
  27. Now its time for your court hearing sucka
  28. THe EnD
  29. He
  30. En


VII. The next last chart ever of paths

  1. ThE EnD
  2. E end
  3. You take up drinking as your occupation
  4. You attend a Catholic Mass
  5. THE end
  6. You go to Unruh Manor
  7. E
  8. War of the holiday cults
  9. TheEnd
  10. Become involved with a cult
  11. You begin to learn about the New World Order
  12. The end
  13. Blast off
  14. He end
  15. TheEn
  16. Your Tom Biscuit
  17. The ENd
  18. You wake up in your next life
  19. You live in a co-op
  20. You have been a student at Fnordham University for three months now
  21. You black out
  22. You leave the secular life behind for thirty years of devotion to harsh Ordeals in the sewers, becoming one with the waste and disease of civilization
  23. End The
  24. Narrative
  25. You start to come down
  26. You quit your job to sack grocerys at wallmart
  27. So you try to go cooler vaster
  28. Start a noise band because that's all that is left for you
  29. The Ehd


Post Notes

This is a online version of a Pick Your Path to Adventure book. It is here for kicks, or to educate, or to provoke terror, or some reason like that. Infictive recommends that you follow one of the above paths till the path ends each day as a sort of a western Zen exorcise.

Image:Dice8.gif


Equipment: Time, will, and a nice six-sided die (and maybe a thirty-sided die as well). There's a Dice Machine kicking around if you need one (or maybe a 1-30 random generator if more your thing). Heck, just use your mind to randomize, or carefully pick the places the story unfolds into.

Download

See you on the path!

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