Late July 2008-Another post apocalypse dream. I am more or less a leader of a group of young people who have survived some unknown dramatic event. In these dreams we are never outside. Always the group of people are inside a vast and sprawling building. I seem to be one of the few people with any ideas about how to go on. I help reform society and ease their fears. I am very popular with the ladies during this time of enhanced power. I have a few fleeting relationships that always seems to dissolve. The one I remember most is a long haired girl who wants me to rub her pussy through her jeans as the group lounges on the floor of one of the endless rooms. As society is established and they no longer need my direction I am abandoned and become only a social outsider. No more girls.
All these recurring dreams involve this endless stretching sprawling building. We are never outside, and I think either there literally is no "outside" or the world outside the building is too toxic to venture into.
It is late at night and I am walking down my home road. The air is full of manna, spiritual energies. The first thing I notice thats out of place in this rural country dirt road is that someone left a four wheeler ATV beside the road with its lights turned on. Seems like anyone can steal it. I am tempted to drive it around myself. But I walk on. The closest house in the direction I'm walking is about a sixth mile off. In front of the house they have made this plastic shelving partly sunken into the ground and filled with items. I feel like the owners of the house are inside watching me so I don't look at the shelves contents. I walk on but I am suddenly exhausted. I can barely go on but I force myself. I'm so tired I feel like laying down beside the road. I pass a second ATV four wheeler with its lights on. The next house in approaching a bit ahead. As I walk I notice the streets are paved with loose syringe heads like I shoot insulin with. Hundreds of thousands of them. My lagging strength runs out and I crash to the ground onto the needles. But they still have there lid caps on and I am not stabbed. I want to go back, try to make it home, but I feel the eyes of watchers in the houses and I know they expect me to go on so I keep walking, forcing my weary legs to move.
I am at some composite of a friend's place playing the brand new version of the computer game Half life. A small group of us are playing it. As we play it we are there inside the game. Playing the levels like its real. I have a handgun that holds six rounds. Some scary battles with powerful robots. We stop at a house where young pretty girls are. A feeling of warmth and love. This does not last long and we move on. More powerful robots and machines to battle. We are trying to make our way down the sloping ramp. But these 1980's retro robots are coming up the ramp. White and round with cheap plastic bodies and round head with blue disc eyes. I fire my whole clip into one but that does not stop it. We retreat running for our lives.
A lady is constantly complaining and bitching in a dirty rasping voice. I wake up and its a insect that keeps dive bombing my head making a dirty raspy sound.
This reminds me of Sunday's cybermagicfightlub event. I decide to use this song then.
I went to a garage sell/pawn shop. Nothing interesting or usable. Boring dull colored books. faded outdated clothes. I check out the stereo equipment stuff. Nothing usable. But there is a interesting but not complete wood paneled radio antennae.
I am riding while my brother drives his pick up truck on 61st street. We go down this insanely tall hill. The road is partly blocked by big empty cardboard boxes. Later we have to return the same way. But I don't see how its possible to go up such a steep hill.It is almost straight up for a long time. The truck slows down to a crawl but it makes it. It almost gets stuck trying to push past all those big boxes in the road. I lament how their used to be interesting books and other items alongside the road (In earlier dreams) now its just big bulky boxes.
Dad says they are going to flatten and haul away from old trailer so I had better grab whatever I want to keep out of it. I now live in a apartment I share with some others. I go and its off putting to see just how much stuff I have left over there. Hundreds of books. Old role playing games, full sized costumes. I bring a few stacks over to my new place. My new apartment home is perfectly neat and organized. I don't see how I can keep it this way considering the vast amount of stuff I have in my old home. In fact the old trailer is packed to the brim with things. Why did I never grab these things way back when. At my new apartment several young people are always hanging out including this young lady who is the special love to the world. She will make love to any man. She loves all and she spreads her disease proof love to anyone who needs it.
I am making a song using only spoken word bits chopped into complex patterns. I do this normally in waking life but this is a perfect example of the form. I am in a building that is some sorta of construct that I can alter by making this sonic vocal chops. Later I am again living with my parents and hungry. I try to get into kitchen cupboard and the door won't open. So I take a knife and cut into the door itself. I realize what I'm doing too late. I tell dad I just cut a whole in the door. "So your the one thats been doing that!", He says. I start. Damn he's right, without being consciously aware of it I am the door cutter. Have been all alone.
I go to a party with Jeremy. I don't know anyone there and I get way too high. So high I can barely even talk. I have a folder full of drawing and stories I created. I also have a cool book, a radio, and my cell phone. I lose all these things the phone last. Jeremy says he wants to leave right away because he ate some of the host's food and dude will yell at him. He goes upstairs and I realize my cell phone is gone. I don't know these people and I know that whatever I leave is gone forever. I search and search with no luck. I keep looking and forty minutes pass. Jeremy is probably gone already. I see one guy I used to know but I realize that was a different when and he would not know me now. While I search there's a little boy with curly blond hair clinging to me like a saliva trip vision. He keeps me off balance and tires me out. The host and his family and several friends go to sleep on blankets spread on the floor. Hosts wive sleeps on her belly in her underwear. Shes hot, nice ass. 8-28-08 Vendy soda I am at work. I am trying to line line a pallet of soda based on energy drinks I'm drinking while writing in Infictive rather then the pallet being whats on sale this week. So I keep changing up what I'm stacking together on this heavy pallet. Finally I say fuck it.
I am playing with these friends who only exist in my dreams in the back field behind my parent's house. We have some keyboards and a electronic piano that looks like a three hundred year old vintage model. They play and I wander about and sometimes join in. There is a concrete floor to a underground structure in front of the piano. Theres some rocks all over it. Fist sized red rocks with dark bands. I have never seen such rocks in kansas before. I wander how they got here. I decide to keep some of them and make a micro stone hendge thing with them. Then everyone freaks out. I ask what happened. They saw they where all playing the same notes over and over at the same rhythm and some other instrument they can't see started doing the same. We cannot find out where this other instrument came from. Now we are in a big van and driving on the road that leads to twin bridges. One of the girls has this tiny tiny baby in a car seat that looks like a over sized insulated cup. I am hanging out with the baby. It squeezes my hand. We are heading for a motel to stay the night at. A van drives into ours going about fifteen miles an hour. No one knows what too do. They are afraid to confront the driver. I'm not. I get out and he gets out. He is a bear of a man. Tall and chubby with a brown beard. His van is a Brat's dolls van. I ask if its real. He says yes. I basically say you hit us but no harm was done. Just be more careful next time. I get back into the van and I see the baby now is pure white and it is at the bottom of the carrier underwater. yes open unblinking. I think its dead. I tell the girls. They start crying and freaking out. I pull the baby out of the water and give it mouth to mouth and it is still alive! I decide I am going to beat that van driver up. But I cannot find him.
I am talking to somebody about the artist known as Edward Wilson. This person claims Edward is just 17 years old. I say that is not possible. He is too deep and knowledgeable to only be 17.
I go to sleep listening to a lucid dreaming brainwave track. I sleep and find myself in a strange place. Its sometimes outside other times inside. A museum. I steal things that are really cool from it. It resembles a garage sale in many ways but the items are surreal. A different, more dreamy version of Aerosmith's "Same old song and dance" is playing in the background where ever I go. At this point the dream changes. I am always in doors now. The museum is one I remember visiting on a childhood field trip. A wonderful place filled with surrealistic art. I start out on a floor of multi colored rocks. The place is like rain. Sprinklers get me wet from many angles. I remember me and the other kids thought the place boring. But a deeper side of myself was mystified by it. The other kids hated it and I tried to conform my feelings to theirs. Years later I went there with Jeremy Perks, his sister Jena and Duane. We where high and having a great time. This museum is designed to disorientate the senses and I stumble through it like I'm drunk. I feel so high. Lots of people are here. A big crowd of folks enjoying the place. Many children. There are lots of shelves full of a wildly imaginative objects. I could not see these items as a small child. I remember the teacher would lift up the rich kids who would later become jocks to check these things out. But I was not allowed, not "good enough". I keep walking through this massive and confusing place. I bump into a false window in a corner that contains many objects. I knock over a blue stone pipe and it clangs to the floor. I fear it will break but it does not. I return it to the shelf but I feel like stealing it. I know I have no use for it anymore beings as kansas is weed free forever and I resist the temptation. I knock over some other surreal object and replace it. A museum employee rounds the corner to see what the noise was. She is not mad at me. She just looks and moves on. I think the items are sturdy and very hard to break. After all the place is made so disorientating that folks can't help but bump around it. I'm so high and emotional. I remember the day I spent with friends, most of which are gone forever here. I nearly cry. Wonder and magic fill my head. I have no idea where I am. How to leave this place. I wander on. There's a area that looks like employee's only but there is no sign. I walk up the steps and go around a corner. Yes its employee's only. I keep on. There's a area of walkways surrounded by water slide ways. I take an odd turn and end up on a water slide way. I think that's o k though, its made like this. But I walk by wild animals who are kept here like penguins and a big semi dangerous looking walrus. I now think I should not be on this path. Fifty foot tall windows reveal a parking lot outside so I'm close to being able to leave. I take another odd turn and I'm in what appears to be a police sub station. I hate to ask the cops there where the way out is. I have no drugs on me but I do have my long radiant hair. I go ahead and ask one. He smiles at me. Completely kind. He points out the exit and I go there. But it does not lead to the out doors instead it takes me to a obscure entrance to the library. I have not taken this entrance since me Duane Jeremy and Jena took it. Outside the big windows I see a larger water slide way with red stone floor. I re call we slide all along it many years ago having so much fun. Again I am nearly driven to tears over the good times and adventures we had. Times and adventures gone forever now. I have a handful of silver objects I have taken from the museum without realizing I took them. I am paranoid about getting busted for that. But none of the library staff I pass seem to mind. This hall is like the entrance to a concert hall. Little shops line the sides. One has a guy dressed like a alien in short shorts. He is holding a silver square device in his hand. Redneck teen boys laugh at him because he looks gay. "That's kansas", I think. Rednecks who can't dig the crazy strange things of this world. Used books and CD's for sale to the sides. I worry about where I parked by car. I could have walked around for blocks in this endless building. I seem to recall having a hard time finding Jeremy's van last time we went here. I wake up. Even now, I think this museum may very well have a real counterpart in Wichita kansas. I lost contact with the people I would have gone there with so I can't call them to see. I know Duane still but have lost his number.
Tonya moves in a nearby location. I now live on the farm where the sheriff lived and my aunt long ago lived, two houses down the way from here. We embrace and hold our bodies together. Next thing she is topless and I suck on her nipples. The nice sour taste of skin. More things transpire but I forget the details. Later I'm talking to a codgey old farmer who is my best friend in the world about this. I go into all the detail, I forget them now. I subjest getting on the internet where I can load up naked pics of her to show him what her breasts look like. There's a computer set up outside on a card table.
I'm at work. But the building is not the new one I work at but the old target 91 building that now is closed. My mind is muddled and confused. I'm in the back room warehouse. A customer enters the back room asking me if we have any Avast chairs. I go out to the sales floor. I don't know anything about a avast chair, I have never heard of them. The sales floor is completely different. Mainly I am seeing a vast display of pastel cheap plastic drawers and storage devices. Red pink and soft blue colors. The dude asking for the chair is around 18 years old. He has a few bratty friends with him. I say I don't know. I begin to tell him that I'll go ask a manager about it but he interrupts me. "I'll just look somewhere else then". I start retreating to the back room again then. He calls out "You people are assholes!", behind me. His friends snigger. I try to walk normal but I can't bend my knees so I walk like a stiff robot. Avast is the name of a anti-computer virus program I was scanning my hard drive with. It loudly announced it had found a virus while I slept. I only woke up for a few seconds then fell back asleep and had this dream..
Me Brendon Simpson and Chris Titan are in Colorado. They are setting up a narrative about a mine or a well or something. We ride a rail car across the woods and sometimes straight down or up. When the ride comes to a halt I bag a open but still fresh bag of chips. I offer them chips but no one seems to want them. I eat em all in no time.
I am at my parent's house with Kat. He sees they have eggs and a egg poacher. So he starts cooking eggs and mixing boozey drinks. We dine on poached eggs until I am stuffed. He has endless bowls of poached eggs layed out all over the place. What a mess. I reached for one of the mixed drinks he made but it turns out to be a mixed glass of cleaning fluids. We talk about toxins and hazardous waste. He tells me of a military place in kansas where they store and create hazardous waste. Next thing I know I'm riding in a car and Insane Clown Posse dude's wife. She parks the car in what looks like a modern ghost town. The parking lot is full of cars though. She gets out and says she must make a cover story of why we are here. She takes off her clothes. I am surprised how nice her body is. She makes a prop eight year old boy. He is not real but looks totally real. She acts like she is taking him somewhere so the authoritys will not question our being here.
I go over to my brother's house. Its a nice house somewhere in Wichita. I notice he has some notebooks that look like the ones I used to have. Sure enough they are full of pictures I made myself and old comics I used to make. Really good stuff to. I want em back. I play a movie on his VCR. Its a tit and ass filled satanic horror film. Yet my brother likes it. Then I go to a store that sells stereo and musical equipment. There are these cassette tapes laying about that look like ones I used to own. Sure enough they contain old musical sound collages I made years ago. I really like em. How the fuck did they end up in a store. I have a small digital recording device on me. I start transferring the tapes over. Then I think I should just take the tapes. They are my music dammit. I ask the sales guy "How did you get my music on tape?. I explain I want to tapes or at least to copy them off. But its over two hours of music I would have to record in real time. "Just leave your recorder here", He says in a authoritative voice. "So you will transfer the music over onto it for me?, I ask. He stammers. I realize his intention is actually to keep my recorder and the tapes. I know I'm just going to have to take these tapes back if I want them.
I am at a party and its mid morning after a long wild one. People are still up and frolicking around. Girls flit about and flirt. On and off throughout the dream I'm naked, only wearing a blanket wrapped around me. The place is in shambles most my stuff including my dope is whereabouts unknown. My ride says its time to go, I like just a minute let me get dressed but the ride moves on and leaves. Now I'm stranded.
The details starting this dream are lost. But it is about this lady from India who is in America with her pre school aged son. Also about this fat older man man and his greasy twenty something gun man. The man is a enforcer into crime. At a playground the lady is sitting at the bottom of a sliding ramp for kids with her son. The playground is out in the middle of the country with nothing around it but a dirt road. She speaks on how she want to find a man to marry and help take care of her son. I have been interested in her for awhile and I start to say that I would marry her and raise her son as my own. But just then a fancy big luxury car pulls up fast and those two crime men come out. They had threatened to kill us before for some reason I forget and the twenty something man has two sawed off shotguns in his hands. A sick scared feeling comes over me when I realize I am about to die. He points the sawed offs at me and he starts pulling the triggers. Nothing happens, just empty chamber clicks. But I suspect that's part of they're play and if he keeps squeezing the triggers I will be shot. I snatch the guns out of his hands. He gets upset and protests how I am not being cool and how he is the innocent victim here and I am out of line. The older fat man has backed off till he stands ankle deep in the water of a pond. He is pulling a gun out of his pants. I aim the sawed off at him and fire. This time the shotguns shoot and he is killed instantly. I spin around. The younger thug has pulled out a hand gun and he is fixing to kill the mother and son. I am a ways off but I shoot again and I catch the man in the back, killing him before he can pull the trigger.
It's been raining a lot and I'm driving home. For some reason I don't feel safe about I take a side street somewhere between Tyler my home road and Colorado. The road is washed out by the rain and beneath the dirt road are a long series of uneven ragged stone blocks. Hell to drive on.
A house I'm at filled with super sexy ladies dressed scanty. Tits and pussys falling out. Intense desire. The house is packed with cool people and wonderfully interesting objects.
There is some sorta outrage, some sorta of conflict at my grandparent's old farm house down the road (burned down years ago in waking world). My family go back to my parents house. Dad thinks aloud saying "should we kick they're ass?". "Yes. lets get them", I say and its on. All the males of the family go together like a tribe to war. Walking through the house filled with adrenaline and the thrill of warfare. I'm looking for a weapon. In the living room there's rifles scattered about arranged in sigils. But I don't want to kill them, just fuck them up. Dad says the ice cream truck is coming down the drive way. Time is expanded somehow. I go outside first, the others never yet join me from the time distortion. The slow deep sound of a approaching engine that never seems to get any closer. It's early morning and dark. I find a stack of tools, arranged like a sigil. I pick up a car tool. Its a long silver tool for using leverage to undo bolts. A perfect striking weapon. I picture swinging into hostile heads as hard as I can. A good strong weapon I feel ready to go, no fear only desire for justice.
Above is a powerful magical sigil. Don't be put off or afraid by it for this magic symbol took much effect and effort. It is about doing something that is right for you even if the Gods themselves say no.
I am in a warm darkness. Total peace, a cosmic peace, I could float here forever. But a sharp quiet tapping on my door brings me to the waking world. And it Christian dude coming past the curfew I told him never to come here past yet fucking again. I kick him out and try to go back to sleep but the warm peace evades me now.
It's day or two into the Oubreak. I in amongst a group of survivors on this endless long man made platform that is a elevated train track. People by now know many of the rules, you bite you are infected and such. Below is a moved grass plain and the woods. Infected are thrown off the ridge down about twenty four feet to the wilderness below, normally zombies make short work of them. Gory. The train sometimes moves down the plat form other times it is still. No one has weapons and the dead keep coming. I see it from many people's eyes. Me and other on the train, the folks exiled because they have bites but are turned yet. Trying to make they're way in the woods, total darkness. Attacks drags downs and runs everywhere. A epic scope dream.
I'm in a hospital gathered together with about 30 other patients. We are attending some in-patient class taught by a nurse. She hands out there papers for us to fill out. I realize I have much older papers I need to fill out but that I have not done so yet. The nurse says that we are going to hear a lecture by some doctor in a little while and she departs. Everyone is waiting and talking and hanging out killing time and a lot of time goes by. I think the nurse meant a lecture here or that we will to lead elsewhere for this lecture. I wait. A pretty black haired girl asks if she may use my pipe. I happen to have a pipe on me. A semi bulky one with a deep wooden bowl. I hand it to her and she turns around and hurries off. She leaves down the hall so fast I suspect she is going to turn to pipe in to the cops and have me busted. I wait and wait nervously and she has not returned. People start wandering out of the room. I see a young stoner dude and he complains that Pennie borrowed his sack of weed and she has not returned it yet. Now I know her name but I can't really remember what she looks like other then black hair. But other young girls there also had black hair. I leave the room and wander the halls a bit. I don't find Pennie and I assume my pipe is gone forever which really sucks. I end up back in the room I started from. Some others have gathered here. I have been walking with the papers I've not filled in in my hands. The P A speaker has this guy talking through it. "We are not getting along", the voice says. I think this is the guy who loaned Pennie the baggie of weed. The nurse is back and she asks the voice if he is calling from prison. Everyone is back and Pennie walks up to be and she hands me my pipe back. "Thank you so much. Thanks, I love you!", I tell Pennie. She finds a seat and I don't see her again. The nurse plops dowdn two sacks of reefer onto my desk. This is really good looking stuff, each sack is a nine inch long Kona bud looking like high times material. The nurse then prods me to two the right thing and give the weed to the two ladies in the corner who have cancer. So I do. Two nice old frail ladies. They are very happy to receive the weed. Then I notice one of the old ladies in not so old after all. She is about my age with straight black hair, pale skin and sharp intellectual glasses. I feel attracted to her and I decided to try to get to know her better. Cute, smart and she smokes weed. What could be better then that?
I have created seven beings. Retarded saviors who stand seven foot tall. Innocent and kind these beings shall save the world. But as I march them down a misty future times street I catch the flash of a sniper rifle scope in one of the buildings. The right wingers have set up an ambush to kill me and my seven saviors. I know there's many guns pointed at us and there is nothing we can do but keep marching till the bullets cut us down. People fight so hard against they're better interests.
I go to a camera store with Dean Blaze. I have lots of cash and I'm planning on buying some cool camera filters or other equipment. I check out this really tech looking 80-260 zoom for a reasonable price and I consider getting it. But then no filter money. I look at filters next. Some really crazy ones. I am looking through this one filter that gives the picture a wild drugged up looking color scheme. I show it to Dean in wonder. The filter is a ultra thin brown membrane that sticks onto the lens. But we end up losing it somehow. Probably from the strong winds blowing through the store. The sale clerk comes over. A hardcore violent druggie type. We say the filter is lost. Then Dean finds it but he eats it! I say I'll pay for it. The clerk don't know what it costs but he knows its really really expensive. "You are so going to pay for it he says. He goes behind the counter to look up the price.
Me and some friend goes over to a house of people he knows and I don't. We are hoping to get high or even score some smoke but its a no go. The town is not dry but we are denied as if from the Gods themselves. Kinda dull evening talking to these somewhat damaged strangers. They keep hinting about a smoking session starting up but they never produce. We are in this garage like part of the house. Trashed, dirty uncared for. I am on this worn out easy chair. the seat cushion folds forwards when sat on revealing the inner part of the chair. I find two marijuana roaches there and I pocket them while no one is looking for later. Still the vague promises of smoking continue, I get the impression these two roaches are what they are referring to but nothing ever happens. The people who live here are drinking beers. But these beers to not give them buzzes, these beers only make they're bellies bitter and sour. I can smell the effects wafting in brown waves from the beer. We finally leave but I am now driving alone and lost. The city is full of trash and debris.